Posted by: draknor | January 5, 2012

In a Funk

The first week of the new year!

And it’s almost over for me, considering I leave tomorrow morning for a 3-day weekend trip to see family.

And I haven’t done practically anything that I wanted to get done this week (or last week, for that matter).

Not exactly my ideal start to the new year, is it?

I have this “to-do list” in my mind, clear as day — and yet, I just don’t have the motivation to do anything on it.  My home office, which I started re-organizing two weeks ago, is awash in papers to scan, shred, or file.  I’ve got pictures on my computer I need to process & send to family & friends.  I’ve got enough ebooks, instructional videos, and podcasts stockpiled to keep me busy for weeks.  The kitchen is begging for a cleaning, yet again. I still haven’t written my “Looking Forward” post to follow-up my Reflections post.

And I just can’t seem to start.  I spent most of yesterday laying on the couch watching True Blood (season 2).  At least I got the laundry done, but that was finished in about the first 10 minutes of the first episode I watched. About midnight I finished season 2 — and decided to start season 3.

I hate this feeling — I feel stuck.  I have ideas, ambitions, goals — but they all seem stuck behind this bottleneck or wall of “have to” — I “have to” do this first, or that first.  It’s a feeling that plagued me in CorporateWorld and I haven’t escaped it yet.  Inevitably what seems to happen (as is happening as I write this post), is that I find ways to distract myself and not do the thing I “have” to do, NOR the thing I “want” to do.

So here’s what I’m going to do — head over to the local coffee shop and start reading The Hunger Games on my Kindle. Because it’s been quite awhile since reading fiction, and that’ll get my mind out of whatever rut its in right now.